"> Friendship Focus: The Art of the Phone Friendship + 20 Questions to Get the Conversation Moving - MidoriLei

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friendship focus

Friendship Focus: The Art of the Phone Friendship + 20 Questions to Get the Conversation Moving

My birthday with Lynne— and a Moscow Mule!

I love love love my friends who can keep up with me via phone. It’s not something everyone loves, but I do love a good phone friendship. I have that with my friend Jacki in Michigan who I met while she and I were high school teachers. I was the English teacher and she was the math teacher. I love that I can call her anytime, and we can chat for hours OR two minutes and it feels natural and easy. We talk about the mundane and the deep. We talk about what we are making for dinner and what we think about what the Bible says on gender roles.

Robyn and Allan
Christmas with Robyn and Allan

I also love talking to my best friend Lynne and my brother Allan who both live an hour from me. And I love talking to my college best friend Robyn who lives in Texas. She’s always catching me up on her love life, and it’s thrilling hearing about a completely different season than mine. She writes a dating column here.

That’s Robyn and me when Noah was a baby!

Since we are mostly talking on the phone to our friends rather than hanging out in person, I thought I’d share—

16 questions to get the conversation going!

  • What do you think contributes most to your happiness on a day to day basis? Like what do you do or what do you avoid doing that you feel hugely impacts your happiness?
  • Do you have a “tell”– something you do that makes you realize you’re stressed?
  • Let’s play a game. You are so rich you can afford to have someone come help you at your home every day for 3 hours. Who would you hire? A chef? A decorator? a personal trainer? A landscaper? A gardener? A cleaner? A tutor for your kids? A nanny? Other?
  • What do you think you’re most motivated by? (For me it’s pleasure)
  • Do you have a current celebrity crush? What movies/shows do you like him in?
  • What was the highlight of your day today?
  • What’s the best movie you’ve watched recently? What did you enjoy about it?
  • What are you up to today?
  • What are you up to this weekend?
  • What are you making for dinner?
  • Are you doing anything these days you normally wouldn’t be doing but you’re doing it because we are sheltering in place? Like a project or hobby?
  • What show are you currently binge watching? What do you like about it?
  • So much bad stuff has gone down in 2020– I’d love to hear some good news. Is there anything off the top of your head that went well for you this year?
  • Let’s dream a little. Fill in the blank. If you had it your way– 2021 is the year you’re going to_______?
  • What’s your favorite outside of the house thing to do right now?
  • What’s your favorite playground in the area?
  • Are you reading anything right now that you’d recommend?
  • What’s keeping you busy these days?
  • How are you feeling today?
  • Let’s play a game. Tell me something about yourself that you think I don’t already know.

The key here guys is listen intentionally, respond accordingly, and then pipe in with your own response! This is how the best of phone friendships work; it’s always a give and take. Do you like phone friendships or do they feel awkward? It’s not for everyone I know, but I love them!

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